Laundry Day
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Lyrics ©2022 by Bill and Gretchen Roper
Music: "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
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Gretchen and I were sitting in the family room one evening, looking at the basket
of laundry that had made its way to the first floor, but no farther, on its appointed
trip to the basement to be washed. We were getting tired of looking at it.
And then older child wandered into the room. And this happened, pretty much in
real-time. I was told to grab the computer and type it up.
This turns out to have been a good choice.
P.S. And it did manage to get the laundry into the basement and into the washer.
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On the first day of laundry, I said to my young child, "Take this basket to the basement and wash it."
On the second day of laundry, I said to my young child, "Take this basket to the basement and wash it."
On the third day of laundry, I said to my young child, "Take this damned basket of laundry to the basement and wash it."
On the fourth day of laundry, I said to older child, "Take younger child to the basement, with this damned basket of laundry, and put it in the washer, and please remember to turn the washer on."
On the fifth day of laundry, I said to older child, "Please use the soap."
On the sixth day of laundry, I said to older child, "Put the laundry in the dryer, please use the soap. Take the laundry to the basement, put it in the washer, turn the washer on, and show younger child how this is done."
On the seventh day of laundry, I said to older child, "Turn on the dryer, wash it all again first, please use some soap. Take the laundry to the basement, put it in the washer, turn the washer on, and show younger child how this is done."
On the eighth day of laundry, I said to older child, "Try the heavy duty cycle, turn on the dryer, wash it all again first, please use some soap. Take the laundry to the basement, put it in the washer, turn the washer on, and show younger child how this is done."
On the ninth day of laundry, I said to older child, "Heavy duty is not air dry, try the heavy duty cycle, turn on the dryer, wash it all again first, please use some soap. Take the laundry to the basement, put it in the washer, turn the washer on, and show younger child how this is done."
On the tenth day of laundry, I said to older child, "If the laundry smells bad, you have to wash it over, and please use some soap. Add an extra rinse, make sure that it spins, listen for the buzzer, and show younger child how this is done."
On the eleventh day of laundry, I said to older child, "If the clothes are still wet, dry for another cycle, and if the clothes are still wet, clean out the lint trap, dry for another cycle, and if the laundry smells bad, you have to wash it over, and please use some soap. You know how to do this, you do your own wash, I've seen it in the dryer, and show younger child how this is done."
On the twelfth day of laundry, I said to older child, "Go to the front porch, get my Amazon package, and then I opened up my new clothes."
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