Good God, Almighty!

Lyrics and Music ©2003 by Bill Roper

The first rule in any endeavor is to go to where your customers are. Seen many folks hanging out in the woods lately?

C                       G
Sitting at the bar on a Saturday night,
    F                                  C
She takes the stool beside me and it's love at first sight.
F                           C
Talking and drinking till a quarter to two,
        Am                                    G
And she says, "If you don't mind, I'd like to leave here with you."
    F                     C
Her eyes are blue and her skin is so fair.
  G                              C
I wonder what a girl like her is doing in there.
    F                                     C
But if she's trying to tell me that we're raising the stakes,
        G                          F           C
I say, "Good God, Almighty!  Well, whatever it takes!"

She leads me out the door and we hop in my car.
I tell her that the place I live is not very far.
And then she lets me know that I'm getting the goods.
She says, "I've got a thing for making love in the woods.
There's a little stand of trees on the south side of town.
I'd be so disappointed if you're turning me down."
She says, "You know, you're just the kind of man I adore."
I say, "Good God, Almighty!"  Put my foot to the floor.

The woods are dark and the woods are deep.
She takes my hand, ‘cause we're not there to sleep
And leads me through the dark to her favorite spot
And lies down there beside me and the loving is hot.
Two hours later, I am seeing the light
That wasn't there before when we started the night.
I ask where it came from, she says, "Look for yourself."
I say, "Good God, Almighty!  I'm in love with an elf!"

She says I'll have to stay with her in her fairy ring.
I say, "I know the rules – I haven't eaten a thing."
She smiles and shakes her head and says, "That isn't quite right.
And a little bit of loving binds the spell just as tight.
Look at your reflection, ‘cause it's easy to see – 
The spell I cast has bound you.  You're an elf just like me.
So take your mortal life and put it up on the shelf,
Because, Good God, Almighty, you made love to an elf!"

I say, "Good God, Almighty, I made love to an elf!
Yes, Good God, Almighty, I'm in love with an elf!"